LIVE Oscar Show!

The night has finally arrived! It's been many, many months of sitting in dark cinemas, critiquing, deliberating and speculating, and dammit, it doesn't mean a thing. Because the 6,000 members of the Motion Picture Academy of Arts and Sciences cast their votes this past week, and there's only 2 people on the entire planet who know the outcome of each of the Oscar races. My only hope is the Academy isn't populated with morons.

Now, I know no one gives a flying rip, but I'm going to give you my thoughts, observations, and reactions as the show goes on. So, have an energy drink, grab some food, and stay tuned for 4 hours of a bloated, pointlessly drawn-out awards show. Hopefully this little blog will keep you partially entertained while they're handing out all the awards nobody gives a shit about in between the big ones. The show starts in about 30 minutes.....Here we go!

(8:25) Ok, I wasn't going to start the blog til the actual show started, but I'm already upset. The interviewer who referred to Taylor Lautner as playing "the most famous werewolf in history" in "New Moon" needs to be removed from ever being in front of the camera. Ever hear of Lon Chaney??? What a joke.

(8:32) Opening bits: The nominees for Best Actor and Actress lines up oddly on stage. NPH doing a musical number! Gotta love that.

(8:34) Our hosts arrive! Meryl Streep has the most nominations...and the most losses! Not bad. It's pick-on Meryl Streep night seemingly. Apparently Gabourey is pronounced similarly to Cabaret. Woody Harrelson is "so high"! Oh cripes, here comes the first bit of "Avatar" business. Floating souls...just a strange deal. Kathryn Bigelow is more than just James Cameron's ex. George Clooney doesn't look impressed by the performances of the two co-hosts. I like that about George, not the fake Hollywood laughter. Zac Efron and Taylor Lautner have no business at this show! I think there's sheer hatred spewing from George Clooney.

(8:44) 10 minutes of an opening crap-fest. Now, Penelope Cruz, nearly inaudible, presents for Best Supporting Actor. Christoph Waltz has this in the bag. These acting clips are taking forever, trying to push this show even longer?? And Christoph Waltz wins the first award!! He deserves it, he played a shit perfectly in "Inglourious Basterds". He's a rambling mess. Better than listing out all the thank-you's....well done.

(9:15) Slight delay, had to change locations to be with friends. Not a fan of the awkward reading of the the actual screenplay pages in the Original Screenplay Nominees list. The winner is...."The Hurt Locker"!!! Let's hope this is a sign of things to come.

(9:17) Molly Ringwold?? At the Oscars??? She's taller than Matthew Broderick, you know even he's surprised she's there. It's a tribute to John Hughes. Just a montage of great moments from a great filmmaker. For an entire decade, he didn't miss. He left a legacy, he'll be missed.

(9:31) Best Animated Short....haven't seen them, don't care about them. I always wondered about the people who set out to make short-animated films. But, God bless those who do undertake such things. You can win an Oscar for it.

(9:34) Documentary Short-Subject....again, I applaud them. But who actually gets to see these films? Where are they available? I'd watch them if I could. Mike, about the winner: "He looks like KRS-One".

(9:38) Ben Stiller...."Avatar" bit #2. Not a fan of Ben Stiller, but "a little Hitler heavy" was pretty good. Now, it's just dragging on too long, not everything you say is funny, Ben. Best Make-Up: "Star Trek". Good for them, they deserved a Best Picture nom, though. Nice to see them win for something.

(9:47) Best Adapted Screenplay: Jake Gyllenhall (or however you spell it!) has no business standing next to Rachel McAdams. "Precious" wins!!! Didn't see that coming in a million years. Geoffrey Fletcher is all choked up. This is amazing to see. An absolutely phenomenal film, a much deserved win. Mike on Geoffrey Fletcher: "Is that Sapphire?" Genius.

(9:57) Best Supporting Actress: Every Vera Farmiga bit makes her seem like a whore. Although, given the movie.....Mo'Nique has no chance of losing. And she wins!! "Precious" now has two major wins. The two best films are going along smoothly. Mo'Nique was fantastic, couldn't be happier for her.

(10:05) Art Direction.....Avatar (gonna win), Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, Nine, Sherlock Holmes, The Young Victoria. Big shocker, "Avatar" wins. Give it all the technical and set direction crap. Here's to hoping it stays out of the big boy categories.

(10:10) Costume Design: "The Young Victorian". The British films always win these costume awards. Set up a horse and carriage, put some British women in frocks and you can win an Oscar too.

(10:13) "Coming up: Taylor Lautner". Give me a minute, I'm going to go throw-up for a while....

(10:18) Mike: "Let's see how many time Kristen Stewart bites her lip" She's up to 4. 5. Tribute to horror films..."Jaws", "Nightmare on Elm Street", "Psycho", "The Exorcist", "Misery", Rosemary's Baby", "The Shining", "Beetlejuice", "Frankenstein", "Scream", "Friday the 13th", The Sixth Sense", "Carrie", "Nosferatu", "The Blob", "Edward Scissorhands", "Sleepy Hollow"....I may have missed a few.

(10:24) Best Sound Editing: "The Hurt Locker"...let's keep the winning going! Best Sound Mixing: "The Hurt Locker"!!! YES!!

(10:35) Best Cinematography: "Avatar". Of course, keep the visual awards coming.

(10:38) The annual montage of filmmakers we've lost this past year: James Taylor singing "In My Life" with the images behind him. Pretty classy deal.

(10:47) Best Musical Score over interpretive dance......this is what's wrong this fucking show. It's 4 hours long because they have to include a dance number to the Best Musical Score numbers. I just don't get it. Pretty soon they're going to have the actors and actresses in their categories acting their scenes out during the show, pushing the show well into Monday morning. END THIS!

(10:52) After 5 minutes of that business, "Up" wins. Good stuff there.

(10:54) Outstanding Visual Effects: "Avatar" wins this, no chance it loses. HUGE SURPRISE! "Avatar" wins. Another deserved visual effect: keep these coming.

(11:01) Documentary Feature: "The Cove". I'll have to do some research on it, but congrats to them.

(11:06) Tyler Perry dying on stage. The Oscars need new writers, this is a damn shame. Best Film Editing: "The Hurt Locker". Another win for the best picture of the year. I suppose the best picture should have the best editing.

(11:15) Best Foreign Language Film: "The White Ribbon" doesn't win!! "The Secret in Their Eyes" wins. From what I've heard, the former was going to win.

(11:20) James Cameron nodding in appreciation of his own film. Let's just hope he doesn't leave his seat for the rest of the night. He can watch the better movies win.

(11:25) Best Actor: This is absurd. They're doing a two minute speech about each of the nominees. REALLY?? Mike: "They cut off the acceptance speeches, but they let this run this long." A damn fine point. As I'm writing this, they still haven't finished talking about the nominees. Announce the damn winner already! And the winner is.....Jeff Bridges! Good for him. He deserved it, always gives a great performance. Jeremy Renner was my pick, but so the world goes.

(11:40) Best Actress: More of the same drawn-out crap. I'll be back in 10 when they actually announce the award.....

(11:47) Sean Penn is wrecked! Love it. The award goes to......Sandra Bullock. While I completely disagree with this one, good for her. Gabourey Sidibe deserved it. Carey Mulligan was better, too. She was good, just not great. She put on a thick southern accent and acted tough. Big deal. There were no layers to her performance, just what you saw on the exterior. That's not a great performance. Oh well.

(11:55) Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow!!! "The Hurt Locker" wins another! I love it, she truly was the tops this year. Once again, best picture of the year, so of course she's the best director of the year. Very pleased to see her win. One more to go.....

(11:58) Best Picture: "THE HURT LOCKER"!!! Folks, that's as good as it gets. Tom Hanks delivers the winner with distinct swiftness, thank you Tom. Anyone who is reading this please go out and see the film, it's absolutely fantastic. The Academy got this one right. Good for you.


Well, that's it for 2010. The show finished just past midnight, far too long. Hope anyone who read or reads this post-show enjoyed it at least a little bit. Good night!